Missing shadow

Today suddenly I am reminded of you
And what I do title you as? A lost friend?
Dead God?
A delusion-ed mother?
And perhaps this delirium made us the insane souls
we were together.
In drunken stupor, we delegated
our future plans carefully sewing
them with our wavering tone.
Remember?
Our hands were perpetually glued. My fingertips
flashed your caress.. and we were gleaming
in our mystic spool. Someone called it
subliminal sex and we giggled under our breath
Our words still anchored with each other.
But it all changed....
So dramatically, that I cant even recognize you.
I cant lick the tender sweetness of your
curvy silhouette. I cant trace your babbling down the
streets at night...
Dear love.
We are now a city ravaged
by a tsunami. Our monuments have been devastated.
Even our wind is pungent now
Is it the flesh of our dreams decaying? Or the burning fetuses I once dreamt of?
It is pouring today and you are silently away...
You have just stopped talking
And that makes me wonder, If you ever talked. If we ever met.
If I ever wrote.

UNTITLED

My grandmother cooks the most delicious kheer
Garnished with nuts and cashews. Fragile lacing of her
Childhood songs traced along in its cooking.
She hums lullabies, pushing pins in her impeccable jooda.
The coiffed white strands, grounded with the soap essence.
I come from Pindi, she tells me and hands over
Her old black and white pictures. She, draped in
A plain white dupatta and her pearls placed
Calculably right. Right over her v-neck kurta.

I am an emotionally deranged person sometimes. Over dramatic. Over surreptitious ..sometimes.
So I ask her, if she laments loosing
Her entire world in one night.
What was India , is Pakistan now. What was youth, is a puckered dough now
What were the strands of pearls, is a map of wrinkled sacs.
Her voice is still the melodious tone, although
Highly moderated by her sighs.
But she never replies to me and says she has always been like this..
She has always been ready to suspend her childhood
In a frozen haze. She has always lost her lovers in
Tickets to chastity. She has always raised grandchildren and helped
Them in home works.
So when finally she finds a little nook for herself...
She wails with her London settled sisters and celebrates the decay on phone. All alone.

CONDUCTION

You come around with me
Everyday equipped with your tools of infection.
The schoolboy smile of
A fluffy innocence, brimming inside
A body of a young man. The tussling tan of your
Perfectly chiselled chest and my favourite, the microscopic
Hair matted over your nipples.
You smell impeccable.
But i know you have been rinsed in marijuana mist
Thinking you were the ultimate saint and dosed on your
Staple of rock music. Just few minutes before hugging me
You were arrested in surreal orgasms with the girl you love. She
Too comes now days with you, moving her snake like waist.
And you don’t need to speak ...because i see your saliva
Luxuriating her canal. Oaring currents of envy.
Till now, I have just been bored about having a dick
But after seeing her, my craving to arch a vagina grows more insane.
Touch me and my skin pores are seething like boilers...
I will carve it out tonight.
I will make it artistically with scented drum sticks. Sprinkle vermillion
And violets..you will see concentric lights.
Ultra white and luscious pinks. I shall sail to you
With pious waters from Kailash. Satchel full of Kailash’s leaves.
Smoke, grind and spit...
For the vagina I will architect tonight.

NIGHTLY ROAD

What conversations did we have..
In the sleepless stupor, ambling up and down
The nightly roads. The abandoned lamp posts
Salivate some of their glow over our distanced silhouettes.
Nothing binds us.
Not even the fingers (of course mine) that
Skitter around his like an inebriated girl. Our
Bangles crinkle, that girl’s and mines...
As we feign swoons over his chewed words and their
Temperate radiance. But still he doesn’t
Behave like a lover with me at all.
He struts taller on the shadowed pathway
And night lamp’s gallop in my eyes
Along with his dizzying shadow..
Then it’s all a blur.
I spend nights with a blur.